One of the most momentous
changes in my lifetime has been the broad social recognition that
discrimination against women and people of color in American society is wrong.
The idea that women and African Americans were deservedly inferior was a
fundamental belief in Western society for so long that the seemingly sudden
rejection of discrimination made the 1960s movements for equality seem
revolutionary.
The revolution didn’t happen.
Instead, gradual shifts in gender and racial relations have moved our society
toward more equality in fits and starts over the past 50 years. Powerful
resistance to change has slowed down the movement to equality at every point.
But lately a basic change in
the arguments of the resistance demonstrates at least some ideological success.
While the initial opposition to equality claimed that inequality was natural
and God-given,
those who oppose further change now often say that equality has been achieved,
or even that the balance has shifted so far that white men are now
at a disadvantage.
Daily
life proves otherwise. The city of Boston is currently in an uproar over
one of the innumerable daily incidents that show how persistent prejudice
resists good intentions. The premier Boston art museum, the Museum of Fine
Arts, long ago recognized that urban high culture tended to serve mainly the
interests of white people. To counteract the legacy of racism, the MFA produces
extensive programs to highlight the cultural contributions of black artists and
to attract a diverse community. For 7 years, the MFA has celebrated Juneteenth,
the oldest national commemoration of the end of slavery. The largest film
festival in New England “celebrating film by, for, and about people of color”,
the Roxbury International Film Festival, will also be held in June for the 21st
year.
These laudatory initiatives
came from the Museum’s leadership. But below the top level, racial resentments
have not been eradicated. When a group of black 7th-graders from the
Helen Y. Davis Leadership Academy, a local middle school whose students are not
white, visited the MFA last week as reward for good behavior and good grades,
they were greeted almost immediately with open
expressions of racism. A museum staff member told the children how to
behave: “no food, no drink, and no watermelon.” Security guards ostentatiously
followed them around. Other museum patrons felt it was necessary to make racist
remarks, including “Never mind, there’s fucking black kids in the way.” The MFA
apologized, launched a wide investigation into this particular incident, and pledged
to keep trying to improve its services to communities of color.
Only those who insulate
themselves from the daily news would find this incident surprising. The broad
social acceptance of the idea that discrimination is wrong has meant that the
blatant daily transgressions against equal treatment have been splashed across
the national media over and over again. That’s both useful and discouraging.
While continued instances of
racism often make the news, the persistence of gender inequality is less
visible, because it mostly occurs in private spaces. A remarkable recent book
shows the stubborn tenacity of male resistance to equality, despite the profession
of good intentions by men to relinquish a key privilege: letting women do most
of the work of child care. The psychologist Darcy Lockman wrote “All the Rage:
Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership” after she realized
that her husband kept finding ways to avoid participating equally in child
care, such as saying he needed to go to the gym after work. She found that
equal parenting is mainly a myth.
While many men believe they
carry equal weight at home, in fact women who work outside of the home still
take on two-thirds of child care, a proportion that has not budged over the
past 20 years. The time-use studies by the Bureau of Labor Statistics detail
what men and women actually
do every day. In families with a child where both parents work full-time,
women spend 50% more time on “household activities”, 65% more time on “purchasing
goods and services”, and 50% more time taking care of children. Men spend their
extra time watching TV and in recreation.
I don’t get it. Watching TV
or going to the gym is more interesting than caring for your child? Changing
diapers is too difficult for men to master?
Lockman offered a set of
interlocking explanations: men had generally been raised to think less about
the needs of others; some people believe that women by nature were better
suited to caring for children; men are more reluctant to let family responsibilities
interfere with work; women are reluctant to demand that their partners take an
equal role. But she ends the book with a more forceful insight: men resist
giving up their privilege. Lockman cites the NY Times opinion column by
philosophy professor George Yancy entitled “I am
sexist” as an example of what most of
the men she interviewed would not do: admit their privilege.
Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote
to a male cousin in 1855, “Did it ever enter into the mind of man that woman
too had an inalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of her
individual happiness?”
We might broaden this plea to
apply to both racism and sexism. Only once those who have enjoyed the privilege
of belonging to dominant groups ask themselves whether other people also
deserve the same rights will our society get beyond good intentions to equal
results.
Steve Hochstadt
Boston
May 28, 2019